Underneath it all.
‘Even a rock moves on.’ - Anthony Liccione
I really want to get my feelings out before they turn into memories. It’s not like me to be searching for words but the correct vocabulary to describe this weekend can perhaps only be investigated, never found.
A few posts ago, I spoke about how I went to Barbados to release and commit. The release was me putting my self controlling habits to bed and allowing the flow of the universe to do it’s thing. And then commit to the route that unravels before me.
There was so much power in that.
Firstly, this week has provided me with the opportunities to speak with so many women about what is happening in their lives. I am sufficiently overwhelmed by the grace and favour bestowed upon me which allows me to present myself in such a manner where people trust me enough with their biggest issues. I promise I will never abuse that. Secondly the acceptance and happiness I feel from talking with all those ladies really has been the thing that fires me up in the morning. And I wouldn't change it for the world. With every conversation, I was able to build and learn, helping the week ahead unfold into what can only be called MAGIC.
It’s no secret that I’ve always been a fan of StyleLikeU. Whenever I can, I try and introduce people to their movement because watching their videos has helped to escort me through some really turbulent times. When the opportunity arose for me to be interviewed by the Mother and Daughter duo, I knew that it was the right time. I put up my insta post with a certainty that taking part would be a way to help right some wrongs. So when I was told that had been chosen, I was really caught off guard by the butterflies in my stomach. Was this a bad idea?
For those that are unaware of that they do (seriously, check them out and let me know what you think after you come up for air!) the premise is having people undress whilst revealing themselves in more ways than one. The videos almost always make me cry but once the tears have dried leave me feeling inspired. After watching a model talk about her life, I was caught off guard when their assistant asked me to be next.
By the time I sat on their trademark stool against a stark white wall there were thirty plus people in the room, none of which I knew and in the next twenty minutes, I would be down to my underwear in front of them. Being body positive does not eliminate insecurity and all of a sudden I was very aware that my skin was doing show and tell and my six pack was on extended maternity leave. But as the layers came off and I begun to reveal things to strangers that I had not yet thought about revealing to myself, the last thing on my mind were some fat rolls and stretch marks. It was the most human experience I’ve had so far, even more so than childbirth. And whilst I will never be able to watch it back. I can’t wait to share it with you all.
I left feeling weightless, completely sure that I had done the right thing and so thankful for the opportunities that revealed themselves to me in the past week because it really has been a little too much for a soft soul like me. But that’s not saying that I don’t want more of it! It truly feels like I’ve found my sweet spot and I’m really happy to be sharing it with you.
Lastly, I really want to talk about how important it is to develop our online relationships IRL. I was privileged to meet one of my favourite mummy friends this weekend and I’m happy to say that she is for sure a woman I want in my real life. None of the above would've happened if II had not learned to stop leaning on everyone around me and step out of my comfort zone. A year ago I would've received an offer to meet someone IRL and in the hours before meeting them, I would allow my mind into tricking me that it was the worst idea ever and they wouldn't like me without a Instagram filter in place. I cringe to think about how many lessons I’ve missed because of my own insecurities but smile when I remember that what is for me will never pass me by, even if I fail to see it the first time.